top of page



Imagine  if your intestines were actually Heinz Tinned Spaghetti. And your brain was
a Birds Eye Potato Waffle. Your liver was a pepperoni pizza, your kidneys were hard boiled eggs, and your feet were Bernard Matthews Turkey Drummers. You would have a vicious drive to succeed.


Imagine if you fell straight out of the sky into a private view and crashed through the ceiling and destroyed the artworks on display, trying to cling to a sculpture on a plinth to steady your landing. And someone calls the police and you get done for breaking and entering, and GBH. In prison, you form an unshakable bond with your art teacher who thinks you are a genius.


Imagine if you attempt a heist in Lidl armed with a Peperami. And someone throws a tampon and your head and you cry your eyes out.

bottom of page